Posh Hermit

Oven Cleaning

2007-04-19T14:52:00.000Z

So much to do and think about I think my head is about to explode!

So why am I blogging you may well ask. Well, my good friend Andrew calls it oven cleaning - it's that phenomenon where you will do anything (even clean the oven) other than the job you need to be doing.

Oh well, onwards and upwards and

away to writing up the minutes that I should have been writing whilst I was doing this

Where has Everybody Gone?

2007-04-18T17:56:00.000Z

Not much blogging going on out there people!!! It's getting lonely out here in lala land..................

Away to a nice hot shower - it's cold again, hate,hate, hate this time of year

Boasting

2007-04-15T19:33:00.000Z

I know it's sad to blog my scrabble game - but it is my best score ever (506 in case you were wondering). J says he has lost the will to live, but I only beat him by 200.

I'm away to finish watching Top Gear - not sure why this is so watchable but it is

Very Silly

2007-04-15T17:03:00.000Z

Mr and Mrs Alien

Mr and Mrs Grit

Mr and Mrs Gobbler

I'm such a big kid!

Now I'm away to beat old alien head at scrabble

Three in One

2007-04-14T16:37:00.000Z

I don't want to overdo it with the blogging, but retractions must be made. Spec Savers all is forgiven! They phoned me with a cancellation and Kevin the contact lens chap is so very nice and has sorted out my prescription. The bad news is that he says I have a dry patch on my cornea, which is why my right lens has been driving me mad. I have to leave them out for a while and clean them with peroxide (!) every week and put eye drops in or spray my eyes every day. I hate my glasses :( so lets hope things improve!!

Also thought I would treat you to some works of genius - this one by Giacametti is named after me (but I'm prettier!)

Poor old Rodin definitely had a problem with fingers - like bunches of bananas! But otherwise very sexy I think

That's your lot for now,

I'm away to finish catching up on all that telly I missed whilst galavanting about with the Princess

Girls About Town

2007-04-14T11:43:00.000Z

The Princess and I had a brilliant day in the smoke. We did Tate Modern, (including the Gilbert and George exhibition - but probably the least said about that the better - not exactly edifying, although some of it was interesting). Then we went to evensong at St Paul's Cathedral - much more edifying, but yet again I didn't get to see the whispering gallery, it's always closed whenever I go. Still the stairs would probably have finished me off - but maybe next time..... The Glass Menagerie was the perfect end to the day - excellent production, Jessica Lange was just so good, as were the rest of the cast.

I would just love to go up more often, but it is such a long way - we didn't get back until after 1 and being ladies of a certain age, we're going to be knackered for the rest of the weekend. I still yearn for a little apartment on the South Bank overlooking the river where we could hang out at weekends, or maybe the Barbican, I wonder how famous Tobiwan's band would need to be for him to be able to treat me to my fantasy???

Changing the subject, Spec Savers are definitely not my favourite people! I was unavoidably 15 minutes late for my appointment this morning and they refused to see me, not only that but I can't get another appointment for 2 weeks and one of my eyes is playing up really badly!! Not good service guys - seriously thinking of changing to somewhere where being incredibly successful and very busy doesn't mean that they feel they can give rubbish customer service.

I'm nodding off here, so I'm away for a kip on the sofa

Ready Brek Boy

2007-04-14T11:33:00.000Z

I'm so proud!

Bad Toe Day

2007-04-12T10:30:00.000Z

Gross eh! My friend Karen (who is a chiropodist in case you wondered) is very kindly going to pop it later (she says it will feel better). What joy - I can barely contain myself!!

The Daughter is a woman of few words, we recieved a postcard this morning and it read, 'Cornwall is nice'. She didn't even wish I was there!

I'm away to Crowborough

We Bid a Fond Farewell

2007-04-11T15:42:00.000Z

To Tobiwan and El.

That sounds as if I might break into rhyming verse - but I won't.

We have had a very nice Easter and it has been lovely having Oneson and his Wife with us. We did miss all the others though, except Twoson and Carla's little brother Charlie, who joined us for Easter lunch.

There are however sad tidings. Although I had beautiful flowers (see picture) instead of an Easter Egg, I foolishly took 3 days off from my diet and stuffed myself. This was not a good thing and the target is now way beyond adjustment!!! My doctor has increased the dosage of my Reductil, but has warned that if I do not lose 5% of my body weight he will withdraw the treatment. To compound matters I have just had a rather nasty verruca zapped and this has made me even less mobile than usual, it has temporarily put an end to even the gentle exercise that I was endeavouring to do. So will power has been cranked up again, calories are being greatly reduced and teeth are being gritted (although jaw being wired might be more helpful!).

Didn't manage to watch any films after all. Did re-watch all 3 episodes of The Trap (everyone should be made to watch this - but you will only get the irony of that statement if you actually have) and on a much lighter note, several episodes of Creature Comforts; also, as is usual when Tobiwan is around there was much watching of old videos of Red Dwarf.

There was also much sleeping.............................

On Friday the Princess and I are going to the big city for a girls day out. - Tate Modern, St Paul's and the theatre (The Glass Menagerie - I love a bit of Tennessee Williams and unfortunately Equus was a bit out of our price range, prices possibly inflated by the lure of Daniel Radcliffe's tackle), should be good craic especially if the weather forecast is right and it stays warm and sunny (oh please, oh please, oh please).

I think my overuse of exclamation marks is being edged out by my overuse of brackets (although sometimes I overdo both!!!).

I'm away to nurse my blistering toe

Ukranian Eggs

2007-04-04T11:54:00.000Z

Those Ukrainians have too much time on their hands if you ask me!

I am pleased to be able to report that a stone has been lost and that I am now on target (this was in fact only achieved by adjusting the target), but there is still another stone and a half to go.

The Daughter and Ollie brought us a rather nice organic Green and Black's Easter Egg last night - what do you think the chances are of J saving me some for when I am sylph like again? They are off to the sunny (we hope) West Country for a wedding and hols, Carla is in Cuba with her mum (21st present) and Threeson will be working, so we will be a select gathering for the celebrations, just Oneson and Elbel, Twoson and Carla's little brother Charlie (who he is minding for the duration). Still I'm sure that a good time will be had and much eating and drinking (by the others) will be done.

What I really need to do over the long weekend is to catch up with all the films that we have taped and not gotten around to watching, so I might just slob out and do that. Would of course be more fun with popcorn or chocolate or in fact any kind of foodstuff with sugar and fat in it, but I must be strong!

Been trying to remember my favourite films, they definitely include:

Cabaret

Casablanca

Lord of the Rings (all of them of course)

Moulin Rouge

Cry Freedom

Shawshank Redemption

Frankie and Johnnie

Enemy of the State

An Officer and a Gentleman and Pretty Woman (I know, I know, but I can't help it!)

I'm sure there must be so many that I have forgotten though.................

Found some more of these:

Old Lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal

Old magicians never die, they just disappear

Old nitpickers never die, they just feel lousy

Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane

Old quarry workers never die, they just get blasted

Old robbers never die, they just steal away

Old sculptors never die, they just lose their marbles

Old tree surgeons never die, they just pine away

Old upholsterers never die, they just don't recover

Old veterinarians never die, they just go to the dogs

Old wheel fitters never die, they just get retired

I am away to finish filling in my time sheet

Excuses Excuses

2007-04-01T13:15:00.000Z

Haven't got any really, just same old, same old.

Still, I thought I would treat you to a picture of the baby that I told you I was going to see; her name is Summer. Her mother believes that she has given birth to the most beautiful baby that has ever been born and her grandmother agrees, however I am afraid that they are mistaken (lovely though she is) because I distinctly remember giving birth myself to the four most beautiful babies that have ever been born between 25 and 21 years ago.

Nearly down to 10 and a half stone (although of course my scales still weigh about half a stone light!) but sadly somewhat behind my target. No Easter eggs for me :(

Mercifully short my offering today. The following are shamelessy cribbed from the Princess:

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A backward poet writes inverse.A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Every pun intented!

I'm away to finish my book, so I don't make a complete numpty of myself at Book Group tomorrow.

Happy Mothership Day

2007-03-19T00:17:00.000Z

Well Happy Mothership Evening to be more precise, but it was totally worth the wait.

Spent the morning in bed with one of those horrible 2 day hormonal headaches that us middle aged ladies get. Crawled over to the church hall at lunch time for a celebration lunch for our friend's adoption of their daughter, which was really good, then we went to the Daughter and Olliphant's for dinner. The Daughter had a bit of a marathon day, with her in-laws for lunch and then us and all the Childers (except Carla who was called away to Lewes for work - we missed you Carla!) in the evening. Tobiwan cooked a really nice Pork and Cider thing and the Daughter made Mississippi Mud Pie and I got lots of flowers and cards. I have the best Childers in the world and I love them to bits!!!

So the diet was on hold for today and I'm dreading getting on the scales tomorrow. Struggling to break the 11stone barrier, even with the Reductil! But those size 12 Jeans are still calling.............

Live From Abbey Road is sounding good, with the Zutons amongst others, but it is late and my headache is still hovering and I'm away to my bed

Beach Baby

2007-03-13T14:48:00.000Z

11 stone 1lb this morning no matter how many times I kicked the scales, so we went for a walk on the beach. I tried out my sexy walking poles (which friends Doctor John and his Lady Jane kindly bought me for my birthday last year) and they worked very well, allowing me to walk further than I would usually manage even if I did look like I was trying to ski on shingle. I think the TSE machine is helping too, so we may have to start saving! Didn't sleep that well last night though, woke up several times with a different earworm each time - Raindrops keep Falling on My Head (I hate that song!!!), You Are the Sunshine of My Life, Why Does it Always Rain on Me and, just in case you thought I had a weather thing going on there, Don't Sleep in the Subway Darling - my mind is such a strange place.

I can't believe how little we go to the beach - how stupid is it to live so near to such a beautiful place as this and hardly ever go there?? Tobiwan told J the other day that when the Strangeboys make it big he will buy us a house anywhere we want as long as it is in New Ash Green, but I would really miss living by the sea. I am determined that one way or another we will improve our quality of life this year and along with stopping being a bloater, that means lots more time on the beach!!

Ok, so there has been some very serious blogging going on (J and Elbel have always been serious bloggers of course, but now it seems that even Tobiwan is dropping some heavy stuff in amongst the ephemera) and I am going to join in, cos' I think I might have some stuff to say (then again, I might not) but you will have to wait because all you are getting today is a joke that appealed to the manager in me.

A man is flying in a hot air ballon and realises that he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. Lowering the balloon further he shouts out, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend that I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and betwen 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer", says the balloonist.

"I am, how did you know?"

"Well, everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

"You must be a manager."

"I am, but how did you know?"

"Well, you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is that you are in exactly the same position as you were in before we me, but now somehow it is my fault."

I am away to see a baby (I hope)

Cherry Blossom Blues

2007-03-12T18:12:00.000Z

Funny sort of day really. The sunshine was welcome and loads of beautiful blossom around made for a very pleasant drive out to Hailsham this morning. On the other hand I ran out of petrol for the second time in 24 hours - entirely due to my own stupidity - don't want to talk about it.

Was in a meeting today where they were talking about the DfES Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning agenda and all the ways schools need to address the issues to ensure the social and emotional needs of the children and I just got so cross!!! Everything we know about child development and all sorts of excellent research from all over the world and going back for years, tells us that vital social and emotional development takes place up to the age of 6 and that if you put children into formal education before 6 at the earliest, you interfere with this development and not only that, there is good research to show that children do better academically as well if they start formal education later - aaarrrrghhh. Lecture over

At the risk of going all Bridget Jones on you I am going to use my blog to record the progress of my diet. It might be boring but it's my blog and I am a desperate woman and publishing my shame on the internets might just help spur me on (even if no-one reads it). My first problem is that I am fairly certain that my scales weigh around half a stone light - I really need to check them out properly or get some new ones. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago my GP promised me that if I could lose 4-5lbs on my own, he would give me Reductil, so I'm planning to go back on Wednesday and hold him to it. My scales say that I am 11 stone 2 and I want to be under 10 stone on my scales by April 29th. My GP reckons that I will lose a stone and within a year I will have put on two stone - we shall see!! In the meantime I am hungry, hungry hungry!! And please don't anyone tell me that I should mind what I weigh or that I shouldn't diet. I feel uncomfortable and none of my clothes fit and being anything more than 10 stone makes my back hurt more - so there.

Talking of back pain, I am as we speak, wired to a new-fangled machine that promises great things in the pain relief department using something called Transcutaneous Spinal Electroanalgesia or TSE. A friend has very kindly lend me this expensive gadget and he swears by it. Well I never found TENS much good, but this is supposed to be much better - so watch this space.

Here are some more of those things we all say and what they really mean

Generally = I'm the only person who believes this

I think that = Nobody else agrees with me

Incidentally = I've just remembered a good story

In my honest opinion = I don't believe a word of this

In the not too distant future = It's never going to happen

People think = I don't know what I think

Perhaps this means = Perhaps it doesn't

Reportedly = I need to give my words some extra weight

Simply put = Everything before has been a lot of waffle

Supposedly = This definitely isn't true

The point I am trying to make = Nobody is listening to me

I am away to disconnect myself

Had Dirt to Scratch and Eggs to Lay

2007-03-11T19:27:00.000Z

Been busy busy busy. Work is pretty bad right now and I haven't had a day off for a while - worked the last two Satudays and had youth etc on Sundays.

Still here I am and you have my undivided attention unless I fall asleep. Tobiwan asked on his blog if anyone else couldn't wait until Summer. Well for those of you who don't know me so well I will recount a conversation I had with the Daughter over lunch last Friday week - it went something like this:

Me: "I'm cold, I hate this time of year, it was all sunny this morning so I put on a thinner pair of trousers and now it is freezing. I take this time of year very personally, I think the weather is deliberately trying to taunt me by pretending the Winter is over and it is getting warmer and then saying 'Ha, Ha, got you' and turning cold and miserable again."

Caelie: " Well, it is better than Winter!"

Me: "I hate Winter too and the Autumn."

Caelie: "So basically you just like the two weeks in the Summer when it is hot."

Me: "Basically, yes!"

So, the Princess and her two Offspring were round today for lunch, along with Twoson and the Girlfriend, which was very nice indeed and the Princess gave me some lovely flowers..........

........ and a bottle of wine. We gave her Boston Baked Beans, which gave her tummy ache (sorry Princess!). Still at least J cooked them not me!

I read an article in the Guardian recently that was talking about email addiction and the fact that some people (not to be racist, but some Americans to be precise) are having to be treated for this affliction. Basically the article was saying that the psychological phenomenon is the same as that seen in rats pushing a lever for food. If the rat gets a food pellet (gratification) every time it pushes the lever then it only pushes the lever when it is hungry. However if the food pellet only appears randomly when the lever is pushed, then the rat will push it frequently as it never knows when it is going to get gratification. So people become addicted to checking their emails because the gratification is random and could come at any time. Perhaps the answer is for the internets to be re-organised so that we receive our emails once a day like snail mail or alternatively we could all go out and get a life!!

I am away to my boiled egg (not even any toastie soldiers - the diet must be obeyed, I will get back into my size 12 Jeans by the end of April!!!)

It's Only Fair

2007-02-22T17:59:00.000Z

Wasn't sure that I was ever going to show this picture on the internets, but I guess as I published the one of the Princess, it is only fair. This was of course taken at the aforementioned Elvis Party, which happened to be at Sam and Abi's house. When I came in Sam ran away and when I followed he hid his face from me, "It's so embarrassing", he said, "What's embarrassing Sam", I asked, "You've got chest hair, it's just so embarrassing!". Seems to be my mission in life to traumatise this poor child.

Talking of children, Twoson and I inadvertantly booked consecutive doctor's appointments yesterday. When I complained that the waiting room smelt like old ladies wet knickers he suggested that the solution might be for me to leave! I never cease to wonder at the high esteem the Offspring hold me in. It did occur to him to ask afterwards if he was still on for a lift home, cheeky beggar.

J has taken up the challenge and listed his own top ten albums on his blog. He also added his list of geniuses (?) who didn't make his top ten album chart and so here are mine:

Miles Davis, Ian Dury, Kate Bush, Van Morrison, Sting, Eva Cassidy, Eg and Alice, Steely Dan, Richard Thompson, Elvis Costello, Eric Clapton, Annie Lennox, Bob Dylan (actually Blood on the Tracks should probably made my top ten - but what to shunt?), Joan Armatrading, James Taylor, Johnny Cash, Kirsty MacColl, Ladysmith, Rod Stewart........ oh there are just so many!

There are certain phrases that drive me insane even though I occassionally catch myself uttering them. The very worst of these is, 'at the end of the day' - aaghh. I quite liked these definitions of some other such banalities:

All things considered = I've just come up with this

Allegedly = What I'm saying is true, but I don't want to be sued

Apparently = I've just heard an urban myth

Basically = This is going to get complicated

Coincidentally = My story is unoriginal

Essentially = Unimportantly

I'm away to meet with my fellow Youth Leaders and then dash to Housegroup

Toxic Flatworm

2007-02-21T18:19:00.000Z

How stylish is this worm? Looks like it should be on a catwalk

Have realised that the last 2 posts may have given the impression that my musical taste leaves something to be desired. Let me put your minds at rest and reassure you in this department. David Cassidy was an adolescent aberration and Gordon Lightfoot, whilst not to everyone's taste did write some pretty good songs that have been covered by all sorts of people.

Thought I might try to list my top ten albums just to prove the point, but I'm not sure how easy it is. Here is my best shot but I wouldn't want to be held to it, especially as there is bound to be something crucial that I have temporarily forgotten. So in no particular order:

Please Intervene - Strangeday (Of course)

Hejira - Joni Mitchel

Graceland - Paul Simon

Learning to Wave - Andy Shepherd

Natty Dread - Bob Marley

Crime of the Century - Supertramp

Selling England by the Pound - Genesis

A Blues for Buddha - Silencers

Grace and Danger - John Martyn (or Solid Air - can't decide - probably Grace and Danger)

Hunky Dory - David Bowie

I may be in danger of overposting, so I will leave you now and be away to a glass of exceptionally rough wine and my dinner

Talking of Las Vegas

2007-02-21T14:12:00.000Z

I believe that is where David Cassidy is often to be found these days.

Between the ages of 12 and 14 I was so in love with this man! I had this picture on my bedroom wall along with about a million others. I went to Wembly to see him and screamed and cried and tore my hair. My favourite fantasy was that I would take off and go backpacking in America where I would stumble upon his ranch and he would be leaning on a gate and take one look at me and instantly love me as much as I loved him. I find it hard now to believe that person was me, although the memories are still quite vivid and memories of past emotions feel very strange.

He was directly responsible for my friendship with my oldest friend Bev. We may never have spoken except that she had a picture of him on her bag and I asked her where she had gotten it.

A couple of years ago Bev's husband Marc went out to buy tickets for a Peter Gabriel concert and came back with tickets for Bev and I to see David Cassidy at the Hammersmith Apollo. We were somewhat bemused that he thought that we would particularly want to go, but it was an interesting night out. There were those women who seemed not to have moved on, they had brought along their memorabilia pennants, scarves, teddies etc and stood at the front waving them at him and reaching out still desperate to be touched by him - very sad. Then there were those who came with their husbands/partners, and these appeared to fall into two categories, those who had come with their wives and were patiently suffering and those who seemed to be really into the music (very strange, had they liked his music as teenagers? They would never have been able to admit it at the time!). Bizarrely there was also quite a large contingent of quite young gay men, most of whom would not have been born in the early seventies, how on earth did they come to be fans? Perhaps through their mother's record collections?

It was fun to observe the audience and to be nostalgic and remember the passions of our youth. Also fun to hear the songs again and to see how time had treated the man we had thought we would love forever (sadly time does not do the pretty boys any favours!). Perhaps the most disturbing part of the evening was when we arrived at Hammersmith station and paused to determine which of the two exits we should take. There was a homeless person there who looked at us and pointed to one of the exits, "David Cassidy concert's that way", he said. We were a little dismayed that it was so obvious that that was our destination!

A shared pubescent passion for David is a strong bond between women of a certain age and we are still suspicious of those who preferred Donny, although it has to be said that in middle age (especially as he has now grown into those teeth) Donny is now the better looking.

In case anyone cares (or is confused), the link is that they played David Cassidy singing Daydreamer over the credits of Life on Mars last night. Although it did not as J suggested bring a tear to my eye (it probably bought a tear to his for different reasons), it has left me with an earworm

I'm away to make some urgent calls

In The Early Morning Rain..............

2007-02-20T21:50:00.000Z

.......with a dollar in my hand With an aching in my heart and a pocket full of sand

I really shouldn't listen to Gordon Lightfoot when I am feeling melancholy!

Left Hastings in drizzle just after 6.30, took four and a half hours to drive to Kings Cross (thank you so much whoever it was that closed Commecial Street and caused a gridlock) where I sat in a soulless room in a Premier Inn and learnt how to make people redundant, drove back into Hastings in fog and drizzle at 4.30. Fun times!!

Why do we call it the blues? Surely it ought to be the greys or the beiges.

Still, Life on Mars is on, so I'm away to watch it and cheer myself up.

The Comeback Queen

2007-02-18T17:04:00.000Z

Just how cool is this pink Scrabble set?

I was getting worried, my friend Margaret had beaten me at Scrabble three times running; I thought that maybe I was losing my powers! However you will be pleased to know that normal service has been resumed.

Actually, I really should have let her win again as she had just treated me to a very nice lunch at the Queen's Head in Icklesham - sorry Margaret.

Long long ago and far far away (Vancouver circa 1974) there was a radio commercial being played ad nauseum (pun intended) that went, 'Old Levi's never die, they just fade, fade fade'. Anyway, I recently came across these:

Old actors never die, they just drop apart

Old bankers never die, they just lose interest

Old cardiac surgeons never die, they just get bypassed

Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties

Old Egyptians tourists never die, they just go senile

Old farmers never die, they just go to seed

Old journalists never die, they just get depressed

Old kings never die, they just get throne away

I'm away to have a little kip after a hard afternoon's winning

Love it or Hate it

2007-02-14T15:23:00.000Z

I know all the arguments against it. I know it is horribly commercialised and often tacky, but I just can't help it - I love Valentines Day. Well let's be honest, I love any day when I get spoilt and made a fuss of. These beautiful flowers arrived this morning along with a teddy and a very tasty card and he's cooking me scallops (my very favourite food ever) and steak, followed by Ben and Jerry's and all to be washed down with pink fizz. So huge brownie points for him..........

.............. but no brownie points for me (or for Play.com) - his present didn't arrive.

Had Joe's for lunch (Joe's Special - named after a cook in the staff canteen at Orpington Hospital, cheese on toast with onion and tomato) and watched the second episode of Life on Mars. This is genius television, it transports you back (along with DI Tyler) to the 70's, a time when everyone smoked, women police officers were called plonks, women and ethnic minorities were second class citizens and people drove Ford Cortinas. The cars were awful, the hair was awful and the clothes were awful. On the plus side, it might be a cliche but life really was so much simpler then (or has time re-written every line?), the music was amazing and I was young. Makes me long to be 14 years old and to do it all again - well maybe not all of it.

Laryngitis hanging around - J says I sound like Rod Stewart after a hard night on the fags and booze, but I think I sound like Marge Simpson. Back at work though, so.....

I'm away to continue playing catch up after 2 days off.

Did You Miss Me?

2007-02-12T17:00:00.000Z

Been busy, but then the only person who seems to have noticed is the Princess (featured above sitting on her Prince's knee at an Elvis Party ((don't ask!!))). Hiya Princess!

Actually that is not quite true, I think Tobiwan mentioned it sometime and maybe Nikki too. Talking of Oneson, his band launched their first album a couple of weeks ago and it is awesome. Check out the promo by going to http://www.strangeday.co.uk/ and click on the myspace link.

So much has happened it would take too long to catch you up with it all, so instead I thought I would catch you up with some of the latest new words and expressions - just in case you are behind the times.......

Blamestorming - sitting around a boardroom table (or anywhere else I guess) and discussing what went wrong and who was to blame

Ego-surfing - searching the internets for your own name (go on - I bet you've done it!!)

Going postal - meaning to lose it, to be unable to deliver the goods

Irritainment - entertainment that is annoying but at the same time compelling (all that reality tv etc)

Mouse potato - someone who spents all their time on-line or playing computer games

Slackademic - someone who spends too much time in further education, rather than getting a job

Treeware - any printed publication - newspapers, books etc

Metrosexual - heterosexual male with a strong interest in clothes, hairstyles, beauty products, cooking and home accessories (wonder if this includes men who moisturise?)

Now I must be away to nurse my very sore throat and feel sorry for myself...................

Toto is Back

2006-11-27T12:25:00.000Z

Just how cute is this baby Cheetah! It featured in the BBC1 Big Cat Diaries earlier in the year and they are repeating them on friday nights.

I fell inlove with Toto and followed his adventures all week. Every night there was a cliff hanger - would the lion eat Toto? Would the baboon attack Toto? Would Toto get lost? Would the rains wash Toto away? Every night we found out that he had survived yesterday's threat. On the last night I was babysitting and I persuaded my 2 young charges, Sam 7 and Abi, 5 that we should watch the programme and see the lovely baby cheetah. Needless to say in this episode Toto was nowhere to be found and they searched for him all over. It's all right I kept telling Sam and Abi, they'll find him in a minute. Eventually the sun went down and the team had to leave and the voice over told us that Toto was dead! Fortunately Sam and Abi didn't appear to be too traumatised by this. Sam did cry, but only because his mum had thrown away his beloved old trainers.

Anyway, sorry to have given away the ending; the programme is still well worth watching if you happen to be around for half an hour at 7pm on Fridays

Bored

2006-11-22T11:44:00.000Z

and fed up! Why is this time of year such a drag? And why am I always cold? And by the way what happened to autumn? Did it happen and I wasn't looking?

This video was taken on J's birthday - I bet you wish you had sons like mine!

I'm away to my work

Bad Nose Day!

2006-11-18T19:46:00.000Z

Had a spot on the end of my nose (always attractive) and when I was cleansing I rubbed it and it wouldn't stop bleeding. But hey guys that thing you do with tissue when you have your shaving mishaps really works!

Also have sores in the corner of my mouth from my dental adventures (see post before last), so all in all a bit of an ugly day. But I can't be beautiful every day - it would just make all the other middle aged women out there feel bad.

Youthwork Conference is good. Hope08 is going to be amazing. Rob Bell is the man (he spoke last night) - I have all the nooma dvd's if you want to check him out. Even NewDay are there (shock horror). But it isn't CenterParcs and I am still jealous of NFI youth leaders who get to have their meetings in a tropical paradise swimming pool.

I'm away to be drinking the Cava and watching a film (or if you are Irish, a fillum) with J

Busy Weekend

2006-11-17T17:30:00.000Z

There may be a lack of posting due to me being at the Youthwork Conference in Eastbourne all weekend.

Anyway have a good one.

I feel left out - I need a unique closing salutation. Crossroads and overandout have been taken. I may try some different ones out. Feel free to comment or make suggestions.

I'm away to my conference

All That Glitters..............

2006-11-15T15:21:00.000Z

........................Is not gold!

Yesterday I had a lovely new porcelain bridge fitted and it was good. This morning the dentist spent an hour and a half trying to wrench/drill/chip it out of my mouth. And it was not good!!!

She then had to make new impressions for another lovely new porcelain bridge to be fitted in a fortnight. And in the meantime she has stuck on a horrible hurty silver temporary cap. It is right above my gold tooth - my mouth looks like a christmas tree!!

I hope you all appreciate the frequency of my bloggings by the way - 10 last week alone, you lucky people. Unfortunately I had some problems with the phone blogging from Liverpool - I won't go into the details but it seems to have cost a fortune and now I am in trouble with the hubby - so I won't be doing that again, not even in the cause of bringing culture to the internets

Apparently the place to meet is at the crossroads (see also comments) but I can't go there now as my bread machine is bleeping at me

Feeling Blaagh

2006-11-14T17:08:00.000Z

A picture paints a thousand words................

Culture Vulture

2006-11-13T17:08:00.000Z

I also popped down to Tate Liverpool at the Albert Dock where they had an exhibition by Patrick Caulfield and one by Henry Moore. You can see most of the exhibits if you click on the link below.

What a brilliant weekend! Only spoiled by having to work most of the time and by now being exhausted and barely able to walk.

You may be relieved to know that this post marks the end of my sights of Liverpool, If I have bored you or you are looking for a more surreal blog experience then check out twoson's ramblings

http://www.tate.org.uk/liverpool/

A Room With a View

2006-11-13T16:57:00.000Z

Liverpool has two Cathedrals and I could see them both from my window.
The spiky funnel one is the RC and the dull factory looking one is the Anglican. The RC one lights up nicely at night though - especially the stained glass in the top, which you can't see in the daytime. Would love to go back and see them inside. There is loads to do and see in Liverpool, I would also like to go back and see the Beatles museum/experience type thing which is supposed to be really good, and the maritime museum - also recommended by friends and of course to actually take that Ferry Cross the Mersey. The people are very friendly and who doesn't love a scouser accent?

You Dancing?

2006-11-12T20:54:00.000Z

You asking?

Anyone under about 40 reading this will need to Google the quote, but no prizes this time!

Ferry Cross The Mersey

2006-11-12T08:10:00.000Z

Didn't actually take the ferry 'cos it was getting late and it looked decidedly choppy out there. However here's the view (sort of)

Full Frontal

2006-11-11T15:17:00.001Z

I wish I could have gotten closer to more of them, but it was too far to walk and i had to get back to work

More sights of Liverpool soon

Another Place

2006-11-11T15:17:00.000Z

They have bodies! They are breathtaking (and so was the wind). I went back first thing this morning and it was so worth the rush and missing breakfast. Well I did promise you the sights of Merseyside and I hate to let you down.

Merseytide

2006-11-10T21:37:00.000Z

Came all this way hoping to see the Iron Men of Merseyside, but the tide was in and all I could see was their heads in the distance. saw the Liver Birds from the car but couldn't get a picture. Very grey and drizzly here, this might be as good as it gets as far as the sights of Liverpool go.

Arctic Dreams

2006-11-08T16:41:00.000Z

Not the same as Arctic Roll!

I can lose myself in this picture. Such peace and tranquility and breathtaking beauty

Much as I love the heat, I would love to visit somewhere like this. This happens to be Baffin island in the Canadian Arctic, one of Polar Bears favourite places to live

But Iceland would do (no, not where you buy Arctic Roll!), with its geysers and hot springs to bathe in and don't even get me started on how much I long to see the Northern Lights.............

I managed to get to Venice before it sank (even if it was only for 24 hours) so you never know, maybe I will get to the Arctic, or somewhere near, before it melts

Or maybe I will just have to make do with Arctic Roll

Birthday Girl

2006-11-07T22:20:00.000Z

We went to Margaret's to celebrate Pam's Birthday and play Scrabble. Pam distracted me and Margaret snuck up and beat me again!

Good thing I'm such a gracious loser.

Into Every Life...........

2006-11-06T17:13:00.000Z

Some rain must fall. It's chucking it down in mine right now. Jolly big hailstones mixed in for good measure!

Never mind, God is good. Onwards and upwards and as Tobiwan would say,

overandout

Remember Remember............

2006-11-03T16:26:00.000Z

All together now.............OOOOOOOOOOH

Actually it is not very satisying at all to look at pictures of fireworks but I don't suppose I will get to see any real ones this wekend. The Daughter and Ollie invited us to a display tonight but we have a difficult meeting to go to. We would soooo much rather go to fireworks with Pod and Olliphant

It has been a week of difficult meetings both work and church, and I am beginning to feel a little frazzled. Got a meeting at 7.30am and another at 9.30 tomorrow morning as well - but not difficult ones thank goodness! And the rest of the weekend isn't looking too bad either, although I do have some reading that I have to finish

I am aware that there has not been much phone blogging going on but I plan to make up for this next wekend when I will be in Liverpool for work. If I actually get to see the outside of the Adelphi Hotel I will endeavour to bring you some of the sights of Merseyside

However I may be blogging before then, you lucky people

Letting Off Steam

2006-10-30T13:44:00.000Z

Framed by concentric mineral pools, Great Fountain geyser erupts every 9 to 15 hours in Yellowstone National Park. The area is honeycombed by 10,000 hot springs and other thermal features, including more than 300 geysers. The first national park in the United States—and the world—Yellowstone was established in 1872.

Pretty impressive huh?

Thought I'd bring you something more edifying for a change. Have a good week y'all.

Just Call Me Goldie

2006-10-26T10:20:00.000Z

Have just been to the dentist to have 2 crowns fitted and one of them is gold! I had a fit of the giggles when I saw it (high on valum, I'm afraid), and told my dentist that I would become a gansta rapper

I tried to take a picture of it in my mouth but couldn't get a good one so I went online for a picture and found a website called Thug Fashion!!!

For $39.99 you can purchase a lovely set of removable gold or gold and fake diamond gnashers for that special occasion. Who wants some in their stocking?

Also Available

2006-10-25T11:14:00.000Z

From those friendly people at Peekaboo, brought to you courtesy of (among others) Amazon Toys and Games

Words Fail Me........

2006-10-25T10:18:00.000Z

Which everyone who knows me will tell you doesn't happen often!!

The Guardian reported today that this kit was being sold by Tesco's online site alongside trampolines and skipping ropes. Although Tesco point out that it is recommended for over 16's, Kellkoo have a link for this product to Tesco's toy department!! To be fair it cannot be found anywhere on the Tesco's site at the moment - let's hope that this is because they have realised how horrendous it is and have removed it and not because it has been so popular that they have sold out. Also available at Amazon and many other (reputable?) sites.

Just look at the image and the typography - who is this aimed at???? I guess this is what passes for good clean fun these days in our sad and sick society.

And I thought Turkey Princess Dreams were disturbing

Turkey Princess Dreams

2006-10-21T19:49:00.000Z

Eight turkey pieces shaped as hearts, diamonds and crowns, coated in light crispy crumb and packaged in a pink, fairytale design box.

The manufactuer claims that, " Bernard Matthews will bring little girls dreams to reality with the first ever 'girl' - orientated frozen shaped product."

If it is true that little girls dream of turkey pieces shaped as hearts, diamonds and crowns we are in serious trouble!!!!!

Grandchildren Would have Been Nice

2006-10-17T19:19:00.000Z

However the Daughter and Ollie have got kittens instead!

Meet Mopsy and Puss Puss, the latest additions to our extended family.

Cute, but not as cute as babies!!

STRANGEDAY ROCKED AT THE FORUM

2006-10-17T09:45:00.000Z

As always!

It was a Battle of the Bands and they won (not to take away from their victory, but the other two bands were really awful).

Album coming soon...........

BIRTHDAY BOY

2006-10-17T09:35:00.000Z

Peter was 60 yesterday!!

We were helping to celebrate in Pissarro's but we had to leave to go to Oneson's gig

Now That's a Bonfire

2006-10-12T11:41:00.000Z

Sad But True.........

2006-10-12T11:21:00.000Z

My Posts are Like Buses

2006-10-07T21:57:00.000Z

You wait for ages and then three come along at once.............

At least I hope you wait, preferably with bated breath

This is just to warn you that the internets are no longer safe. Twoson is now online and the emails are bad enough but if he ever starts to blog then heaven help us.

There is something very wrong with the world. I have just lost a game of scrabble, for the second time running (both to my friend Margaret). This is unheard of and must be rectified as soon as possible. I need to play John again soon (sorry darling) and regain my equilibrium.

I am going to eat chocolate now

On The Edge Of His Seat

2006-10-07T17:02:00.000Z

On The Edge Of His Seat
Originally uploaded by annettehawkins59.

How does he bear the suspense? I wonder what it would take to entice him away?

Ho Ho Ho

2006-10-07T15:46:00.000Z

Only 11 weeks until Christmas

When did the thought start to become depressing ?

Do you remember that feeling when you were a child, the anticipation, the excitement, waking up to the feel your stocking on the end of the bed.

I can't remember how old I was when that stopped. I remember the magic coming back the first year I was in love with John and again when the offspring were small.

Of course I will enjoy it when it comes, but all the worry about affording the presents and finding time to buy them and buying things that people will actually enjoy.......

Talking of depressing things, John is watching the football. Having the game on itself is bad enough, but the real killer is having to listen to the inane drivel that pours out of the mouths of the commentators, the endless ways they find to repeat themselves, I am going now to find myself a good book and some earplugs

Anyone out there had any good earworms lately? Yesterday I awoke to 'Betcha By Golly Wow' and this morning to a medley from Tommy (mostly 'the crowd went crazy when Tommy hit the stage' and 'he's a pinball wizard.......' but also 'Captain Walker didn't come home, his unborn son will never know him' and 'see me, hear me, touch me, heal me' etc, etc

Oh it's started and it's unbearable, where are those earplugs...............

The Time Has Come..........

2006-10-01T11:25:00.000Z

To talk of many things.

Actually I want to talk about earworms. Now an earworm is a persistent tune or song or more usually a bit of a song playing in your head over and over that is hard to get rid of (you can only usually manage to get rid of it by replacing it with another song!).
I don't know about you, but I am plagued by them. I wake up with one every morning almost without fail. Now that is all fine and dandy when a) it is a song that you know and love and or b) you know why it is in your head (ie you heard it on the radio yesterday etc). Sometimes though I am beset by a totally random and awful song and I can't imagine why it is there and it just won't go, equally annoying is when you just get a fragment of tune or a few odd words and you can't even identify what the song is. This may not be so bad for those fortunate people who can sing their fragment to others for help with identification. Unfortunately my singing is so bad that this would be no help at all.
My earworm this morning was "I don't like Mondays" by the Boomtown Rats and Jonathan Ross played a version yesterday by some boy operatic band (G4 John tells me), they sounded awful - my earworm sounds better.

Another suitcase in another hall. . . .

2006-09-29T18:24:00.000Z

Prizes if you know the song!

I am languishing in a Travelodge in Basingstoke with only my cold viruses (see blog before last) to keep me company and another day's accountancy course and the M25 to look forward to tomorrow and I am feeling mighty sorry for myself, yes siree (any sympathy gratefully received).

Somewhere..........

2006-09-25T19:06:00.000Z

Can't go into details, but I told God that I would love to see a rainbow today and there was the most amazing one right in front of me all the way home from Brighton. Unfortunately by the time I stopped to take a picture the light was fading and in the photo you can hardly see it.
But it is there and it was amazing before it faded and I was very blessed by it.

To Blog or Not to Blog

2006-09-21T14:55:00.000Z

What was the question?

See that pretty picture? What do you suppose that beautiful thing is?

It's a common cold virus, that's what it is! And I think that I just possibly may have a few of it's kin swarming around and multiplying in my nose and throat as we speak (or as you read to be more precise - that is if anyone ever reads this self indulgent twaddle). I am not amused.

It Will, It Did!

2006-09-19T17:38:00.000Z

Hurry, my faith is restored! My happiness is complete (well I am feeling reasonably satisfied just at this moment). I blogged from my phone (the sexy hunk in the last post) and not only that, but thanks to advice from oneson and a bit of fiddling, I managed to edit the blog and put the photo round the right way.

Might be a while now (or maybe not), as this week is mad. Work all day tomorrow, Youth in the evening, work, eye test and Elders meeting and more work on Thursday and Housegroup in the evening, work all day Friday, big work conference all day on Saturday then silent retreat on Saturday night and Sunday and on and on............

Will it or won't it?

2006-09-18T16:18:00.000Z

Will it or won't it?
Originally uploaded by annettehawkins59.

Who knows

There's No Place Like Home

2006-09-17T16:12:00.000Z

Well it seems I spoke too soon. Those nice helpful people at Vodafone don't appear to know what they are talking about. I have spoken to many of them this week, so many that there has been no blogging time! They all say something different. At least two of them have promised personally to get my phone email up and working, but apparently that can't be done, because I have to set up an account online and that can't be done either because the online system has been knackered for days and they show no signs of fixing it! I despair!!

And what is more I have just noticed that my lovely photo of my warm and inviting and cosy lounge has been blighted by John's foot!

And I have to go back to work tomorrow after 7 weeks off and I just know that I will have 7 weeks of work to catch up with. I may never blog again.............................

Or I might

Is It Me?

2006-09-11T12:32:00.000Z

We have lift off! I spoke to some very nice and helpful people at Vodaphone and it is sorted. However I do have some complaints; it seems that the reason my mms and email wouldn't work was because I had put my old SIM card in (this is what the sales person told me to do), my old SIM card however won't work with a G3 phone, but it seems that sales people do not even receive such basic technical information! So I fought with my phone to remove the back (stupidly hard to do and resulted in me scratching the back!) and replace the old SIM with the new one. But what they hadn't told me was that the new one would need to be activated - so then nothing worked!!!! Anyway as I said it is all sorted now and there is no stopping me now.

As an aside, I am not on the whole a grammatical fanatic but certain things do annoy me; the main one being when people put words in inverted commas to indicate they are using the word skeptically or self consciously. Either use a word and mean it or don't - it's not "big" or "clever" or "funny". Having said all that, I fear I am guilty of the grievous crime of over using the exclaimation mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not Just a Boy's Toy

2006-09-10T13:28:00.000Z

This is my new phone and I love it except that I cannot get the MMS or the email to work and the Vodaphone site is not being helpful to me!! But I will overcome and I will be using it to blog on the move, if it kills me!!

Actually this is not a phone so much as a way of life, it is a 3.2 megapixel camera (with editing suite and bluetooth etc), an mp3 player and a video camera (only little wee films), it can send and recieve emails (theoretically), you can watch telly on it (for an additional charge), access the internet (ditto), it has a voice recorder, you can make video calls and of course it has all the usual stuff like a note book, calender, alarms, plus all the call time and free texts that I am ever likely to need and all for only £12.50 a month (admittedly this will double to £25 after 6 months - but still not a bad deal I feel). In fact it would be pretty near perfect if only I could set the darn thing up............... Oh and if it could make coffee and dispense chocolate!!

You just have to click on the phone link above - gotta love that bedhead look

For Better or For Worse

2006-09-09T13:20:00.000Z

He was snoring as well and rather endearingly his big toe was wiggling in time with his snores

The Way We Were

2006-09-09T12:55:00.000Z

Ahhh! Told you I was a child bride!! Twenty Seven Years (count them) yesterday.

We were reminiscing about the day and he had a faraway look on his face, "what are you thinking about" I asked, expecting some loving and romantic line about how beautiful I looked or how perfect the day was, or how I have grown even lovlier over the years (were that possible).

"Do you remember," he said, "we left a pint of milk under the car seat" (of the car that someone had lent us for our honeymoon) " and it wasn't found for a week".

Mothership Omission

2006-09-06T19:02:00.000Z

Oh yeah, I'm sometimes called mumsy too (and even mummy sometimes)

Completing The Clan

2006-09-05T16:12:00.000Z

Threeson - the most eligible bachelor in the whole of North Kent!!

So that's us - Dadhead, Mothership and all seven Childers (Offspring plus WHaG) - Oneson (also known as Tobiwan, Tobes, Toblerone etc etc, was known as Bunny Oneson for the 1st year or so of his life), Eleanor (The W, also known as El, Elbs and Elbell), Daughter (also known as Cael - pronounced Kyle - CaelEm, but mostly - for reasons unknown other than the vagaries of the mothership's mind - Pod), Ollie (the H, also known - although I'm not sure he knows this or would approve - Olliphant and I think the sons may call him Butch, oh and Oliver of course, but that is usually Oliver!! Unless being used by his parents), Twoson (also known as Az, Azman and AranTom - was known in early life as Baboo and subsequently Tonka due to his penchant for running into walls and just backing up and changing direction), Carla (the G, hasn't really got a nickname yet - at least not one that we know about, must do something about that!) and Threeson (also known as Joelyboy, was known in early life as Fred and then as Jo Jo, which I still like very much but for some reason he hates, can't think why - hope he is still talking to me, I hope they all are)

I think that may be enough blogging for today, probably enough blogging for many days..........

Not Only But Also

2006-09-05T16:03:00.000Z

Not entirely sure when Carla joined the family (actually I think we are in fact the Family Hawkins/Butcher/Davies). Anyhows sometime in the last 3 years Twoson moved in and the poor girl became one of us

Where was I?

2006-09-05T15:34:00.000Z

Sorry I was rudely interupted by my dentist (actually that's not true - my dentist isn't at all rude - in fact she is brilliant even if my face is so numb that I fear I will be talking like Donald Duck for a week)

Anyhows as you can see above we were joined by Eleanor on September 14th 2002 and by Ollie on July 30th 2005

Of course now we are no longer strictly speaking the family Hawkins, but the Family Hawkins/Butcher. That's what happens when your daughter is inconsiderate enough to marry someone with a different surname!

Let Me Introduce To You

2006-09-05T11:26:00.000Z

Taken on 13th September 2002 on the eve of Oneson's nuptials, this is the last known sighting of the Hawkins Family in it's original state, prior to the welcome addition of the WHaG.

L to R: Daughter Caelie, Oneson Toby, Dadhead John, Mothership, Twoson Aran and Threeson Joel

On the origins of Mothership

2006-09-04T13:25:00.000Z

This was taken moments after I first qualified for the monicker of Mothership!

The Childers have called me many things over the years, most of which I know about and some of which are publishable on the internets. As in most cases I began as Mummy and as each succesive Childer approached puberty I transmogrified into Mum, (it was probably around this time that the unpublishable names would have started to be muttered under the breath or behing closed doors!). Oneson tried my christian name out for a while around age 3 or 4, but soon got bored with it. Threeson called me Moth for a while which I always quite liked and collectively we (Dadhead and I) are often known as The Rents. Of course in extremis (rage/exasperation/humiliation etc) I become Mother!

It was Oneson who coined the Mothership and when asked whether the context in which he was using the name was as in an alien craft, or as in your worship or lordship, without even the merest hesitation he replied, "no it is as in as big as a ship". The cruelty and pain one endures - giving birth pales into insignificance.................

Possible revenge is only tempered by the likelyhood that Oneson is more than capable of hacking my humble blog and wreaking havoc. Oh and of course by maternal and christian love and forgiveness

Everyone needs a hero

2006-09-01T23:13:00.001Z

I understand that there have been complaints about the lack of blogging going on, but I have excuses, these being: lack of time, lack of anything particularly interesting to say (this may be an ongoing situation and may not prevent me from blogging in the future) and lack of inclination. My other excuse is that I am waiting for my flash new phone to arrive, so that I can practise the art of sending pictures from it to my blog.

In the meantime I thought I'd better start introducing those who willl feature in future postings. Pictured above is John (otherwise known as Dadhead). Been married to me for 27 years on the 8th and jointly responsible for the Childers (who will be introduced shortly).

Had a Murder Mystery Party tonight and not only did he do most of the house clearance that needed to take place before anyone could get through the door, he also did all the vegetables, ran around after us all and is doing the dishes even as I blog! My hero!!

Chillin at the childers

2006-08-27T17:49:00.000Z

Chillin at the childers
Originally uploaded by annettehawkins59.

Just getting the hang of this!

2006-08-25T17:56:00.001Z

As blogging seems to be becoming a family trend, I thought that the random thoughts and musings of the Mothership should also be added to the internets. So if I have any, I will let you know.